9 Rules for New Stoners

New Stoners: Read This!

Weed has been smoked for millenia. Early cavemen probably toked on the beautiful plant graciously given by mother earth. Most people you ever talk to either have, or will have consumed some form of Cannabis. So it’s safe to say that a lot of stoners share a lot of similar experiences. Through these experiences there have been hardships and good times, periods of everlasting dankruptcy and fields of green. Here’s 9 things that will help new stoners enjoy the wonderful world of cannabis to it’s fullest.

Always Close Your Weed

Many a Stoner has fallen ill when weed is spilt. Save yourself. Whenever you are done packing whatever your smoking. Close your grinder. Close your bags. It’s so dissapointing when you spill your weed, so if you just make it a habit to ALWAYS CLOSE YOUR WEED you won’t ever have to suffer like the rest of us have.

Leave No Trace

Everybody loves smoking outside. There’s nothing more liberating than smoking a fat blunt out in the middle of the woods, or the lake hidden up in the mountains. But, clean up your shit. Nothing perpetuates the dirty lazy-ass stoner than a pile of blunt inards, a ripped up swisher pack, and some fucking drink bottles. Clean up your shit. Nature gave us this wonderful healing plant, the least we could do is take your fucking trash with you.

Match Whatever You Can

Times are tough man. If you know you’re going to sesh with the homies but your running dry on bud, maybe offer to buy some snacks on the way over. Everybody gets the munchies, and nothings better than a huge bag of Doritos and a huge drink. If you can’t contribute weed, contribute something else. Whether it’s food, drink, a place to smoke, or something to do, contribute to the group and your homies (assuming they’re good people) will understand and reciprocate.

Never Speed When Your Driving With Weed

I personally don’t smoke in my car. I like to have a little wax pen that doesn’t really smell and any smell doesn’t linger if you crack a window. In a lot of places weed is still illegal. If you get pulled over and they find weed in your car, depending on where you live, you’re probably going to get arrested. It sucks, but that’s just the current climate around cannbis. The easiest way to not get arrested for weed is to not get pulled over with it.

Offer, but Don’t Push

If someone doesn’t want to smoke, they don’t have to. Everyone has there own limits. if somebody says they’re cooked. be nice and respect it. Nothing makes for ruining a sesh like peer presure.

Clean Your Fucking Pipes

It’s easy. If you do it often enough it gets even easier. Just get some Isopropyl alcohol and corase salt from your local grocery store. Mix the two in the pipe, cover all the holes, and shake it like hell. Fairly quickly the ISO will turn a disgusting shade of brown. Keep shaking it till all the resin and shit is off the sides. Once it’s sufficently clean, run some water through it and swish it around. Make sure to get all of the ISO and all of the salt out. See? Easy. Clean your fucking pipes.

Don’t Give Out Your Dealers Number. Ever.

Unless you have explicit permission from them. If someone hits you up for weed, and you cant fufill their request right away, just text your plug. Offer to middle man the transaction or if he’s cool with them hitting him up.

Make a Cannabis Pilgrimage to Colorado.

Seriously. Do it. ┬áIf you never been in a legal state, make it a point to go. AirB&B’s are fiarly cheap, and a lot of them are Cannabis freindly. Just do it. Get a few friends and just go. You won’t regret it.

Don’t Be A Cunt.

Nobody likes a cunt. So don’t be one. Be respectful and honest and you’ll go far in life. Read up on the law of attraction. Positive attracts positive.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *